dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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