Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
