The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
