I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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