Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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