I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
