Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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