yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
