i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
FUCK WHALES
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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