My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
