Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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