Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
