my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
