Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
