Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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