WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Soap is not a condiment
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
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