Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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