Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
