You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
is it fun? or sober?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
