VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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