So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
you never un-have a 4some
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
