Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
