Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You were trust falling into bushes
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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