So drunk its hurt
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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