we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
