doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
