dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
third nipple confirmed
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
