there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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