yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
