i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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