I need help removing her.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
