sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
