I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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