She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
