How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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