im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
