Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
