Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
