Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
