it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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