we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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