Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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