All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
