I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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