I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Shame is for Republicans.
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