Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
