all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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