I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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