I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm at about main and main street
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
