I cockslap morals
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
