Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
