I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
