NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
where are my eyebrows?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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