I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
