I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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