I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
