Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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