brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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