Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
