id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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