Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
