So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
